In a recent book I read, "Dodging Energy Vampires by Christiane Northrup M.D., I discovered how much I was at risk for Energy Vampires because of my deep empathy. I'm still practicing the art of making requests while setting and holding to clear boundaries. It very well might be a life-long battle but it is one I can't afford to gloss over.
Here's why:
Excerpt from the book
"Energy vampires - whether a man, woman, lover, co-worker, or religious leader - survive by draining the life force and resources of the empath who too often ends up sick, confused, broke, and emotionally devastated. To understand what it means to survive by draining the life force, we need to look at the term narcissistic supply. This is a game changer once you understand the dynamics in a vampire relationship. This is the "blood" that manipulative people suck out of empaths. Energy vampires manipulate others for this narcissistic supply, which comes in the form of attention, money, sex, and status. They tend to suck all the oxygen out of whatever room they are in because there's some kind of abyss inside that can't be filled, playing into the wounds of the people around them. This makes the empath a prime target. Energy vampires would rather get a hit of our energy to keep them afloat until next time and the empath loses themselves enabling the vampire to stay stuck."
Nothing will crush your freedom faster than allowing this blood-sucking behavior to continue. What's worse...your heart and soul begin to wear out and you may decide over time that it hurts too much to love and close your heart for good. Bitterness will become your closest companion and you will eventually become what you hate...an energy vampire.
So how do we deal with the vampires in our life and more importantly, how do we keep from becoming one?
Notice. Where do your heart, mind, and soul feel worn out? Are there any changes that you need to make in your daily routines, thought life, or relationships that could help take some of the load off? Before you request a change in others, check yourself. What are you doing, not doing, or allowing that is causing the overwhelm? Take responsibility for your part first.
Make request. Ask for what you need. This is a big challenge for empaths. We tend to over-focus on other's needs above our own, but let's remember to put on our own oxygen mask before assisting others. Be respectful to others but don't hesitate to kindly and boldly request. Understand that based on their schedule, or emotional/mental capacity you may have to compromise. If you are dealing with an energy vampire, there will be little compromise or peaceful resolution and you may need to move to step 3.
Set a boundary. If you've clearly asked for what you need and you are getting only opposition or disregard, then it's time to set a boundary. This is a limit or guideline that you can set for yourself to make clear what you are comfortable with within the relationship. If these boundaries are violated then there will be consequences that are within your control.
Shine the light on the energy vampires in your life. Stand up for your boundaries and get your emotional energy back. We'd love to help! Contact us today to book your first step to freedom.
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