We all have a narcissist living inside of us. If we let it out of the cage, it can start to run our lives. However, you will find yourself on the naughty list if you don’t put the narcissist back in the cage.
Sometimes when we read things like this we think of all the other people that we know this would apply to. We think, "This would never apply to me", but remember that if we are going to find freedom and inner peace, we must practice the habits of curiosity and humility. So let's reflect on the following questions. Are we doing all we can to keep the narcissist caged? Take the quiz below to find out which side of the list you fall on. Naughty or Nice?
Naughty List Quiz
“Am I always the victim?”
If we are always playing the victim then life is always happening to us instead of for us. Everybody has hard things in their life. Your trouble or trauma is no different than anyone else's, but you get to choose if you are going to be the victor or the victim. The more that you stay in the victim mindset the more you will become a negative, selfish, bummer of a person.
Get back on the "Nice List" by asking yourself, “How can I be a victor in this situation?”
“Am I always focused on negativity?”
As humans, our default is to focus on the negativity because let's be honest, it's more dramatic and flashy. Let’s say I broke my arm. If I'm focusing on the negativity of this, I can have people feeling sorry for me. I can make excuses about how I can’t do things as well. I can wow people with the horrific story of how I broke it, and I can comment about how it must be nice to have two working arms. I'll do all I can to make them feel smaller than me and look better than everyone else.
Get back on the "Nice List" by listing ten things that you are grateful for and why your are grateful for them. Gratitude will always dispel negativity.
“Am I always trying to manipulate others to get my way?”
If you find yourself never being okay when someone else gets their way, then there is a bitter, selfish spirit that you absolutely must deal with in order to get off the naughty list. Manipulation comes in many different forms.
Using your terrible circumstances to guilt someone into helping you.
Expecting someone to read your mind and anticipate your every action, then getting mad at them when they are unable to satisfy those expectations.
Promising something to someone only if they do something for you and then you don’t follow through.
Get back on the "Nice List" by clearly and kindly stating your needs and requests. People in your life will appreciate it. Also, try asking yourself "Can I compromise on this?"
“Do I always have to be right?”
As much as we hate it we can’t be right 100% of the time. I know this is like a knife to the heart, but it is humanly impossible. It's very arrogant to assume we are never wrong. Why do you always have to be right? Is it because you don’t want to look foolish? Is it because it hits your pride if you don’t have all the answers?
Get back on the "Nice List" by asking, “What if I am completely wrong in this?” Challenging yourself in this way keeps your heart in a state of humility. You might not be wrong but this approach keeps the dialogue peaceful. We don't want to come off like an arrogant buffoon.
“Am I always putting those around me down so I can look better?”
There has been a lot of research done on this because it is a very common problem for all of us. The average human doesn’t think that they are the best, they just think they are better than most. We are often insecure and looking for worth so we figure if we look just a little better in everyone’s eyes than the other people around us, we will be okay. I get that we don’t always get along with everyone, but we should be very careful when criticizing.
Get back on the "Nice List" by remembering that we are all created for a purpose and that life isn’t a competition. We all can’t be the best at everything. So find the good in each person you meet especially those who you are comparing yourself to.
“Am I gaslighting people around me?”
Gaslighting is a big buzzword these days and what's funny is that a lot of people don’t actually know the meaning of it. Now let me be clear...addressing conflict directly is not gaslighting. Gaslighting means...
You are using manipulative and psychological methods to cause others to question their sanity.
You are ambiguous in what you say. You lie and keep changing your story to try to hide it.
They will criticize others abilities, decisions, and judgements.
Get back on the "Nice List" by being aware of your actions and words. Take responsibility for your actions. Be willing to actively listen, seeking to understand, not contradicting unless absolutely necessary.
If you struggled with this quiz, need accountability, or have questions about our programs and events, please reach out to us here or book a Freedom Check below.
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