Are you really...fine?

This blog series continues with part 3 of our discussion on the 7 battlegrounds, Emotional Fitness. Let's learn what it looks like to exercise our emotions in balanced ways. In this post, we aren't going to talk about positive emotions. The thing to remember with those is to enjoy them and practice gratitude for them, but happiness is not usually a threat to our goals and relationships. This conversation will dive into the negative emotions, the ones we try to avoid, the ones we stuff. What do we do with them and the energy they bring?

This quote from Tony Robbins is the reason why we address our emotional design as an area where we need to stay fit. It is essential to train our focus and mental discipline so that when uncomfortable emotions arise, we can use them as a helpful tool to improve our understanding of ourselves and the people around us.

Emotions when experienced in alignment with truth are crucial to help us navigate life in this broken world, but all of them must be put on trial as we seek to protect our inner peace and practice mental discipline. So we lawyer up and put each one on the stand as it presents itself.

1. Notice it. How do you know you are experiencing negative emotions? That may seem like a dumb question, but not everyone presents an emotion by crying, raging, or hiding. Some people are easy to read but many can maintain their cool all while holding these heavy emotions. Emotions can often present as a headache or an upset stomach so get curious when about your body's reaction to emotions. For some, this will be a breeze. For others, this may prove very challenging because they have a habit (not necessarily intentionally) of disassociating themselves from their bodies, sometimes because of past trauma, but more simply they may just not have the language to describe what they are feeling. Keep in mind...just because you have a headache doesn't mean that you are holding rage or guilt. You might just need to hydrate. Care for yourself well and if things still feel stuck or off, then it's time to start some soul searching.

2. Name it. One of the easiest ways that I learned to identify emotions was by counting it out on my hand. Mad, bad (guilt or shame), sad, glad, scared, one for each finger. Count it out...am I mad? If not move on to the next one...Do I feel bad meaning guilty or shameful? And so on until you find the emotion that is stuck. When you feel you can answer yes to one of those, ask yourself "Why am I feeling this way? For instance, "I'm feeling angry because...fill in the blank".

3. Test it. This is where we put it on trial. For instance, Let's say your partner said something that hit you wrong and by the end of the night you are quite livid. All you know is that you're pissed, but let's trace it back. Put the emotion on trial. Did your partner mean to say something hurtful? What's going on in their life that would cause them to say what they did? Did I just take it wrong? What is true about this person? Hold the emotion up to questioning and the truth of what you know about your partner. Is it possible that the anger is how you are expressing the hurt that you perceived, but it was not actually the intent of your partner to hurt you? If you put the emotion on trial in this way and decide that there was intent to hurt then you need to have a kind conversation with them.

4. Choose Freedom! After the trial is over, what's next? We've talked about spiritual guidance in this blog series, and now is a great time to allow the Divine to help you become aware of the right course of action. What's the best way to facilitate peace in your heart and relationships? Maybe you need to ask forgiveness or extend forgiveness. Perhaps you need to own a wrong action, call out wrong action, or set a loving boundary.

Try these steps and let us know how it went. You can leave a message here or connect with a freedom coach to talk more in depth. One thing we are sure of, as you find freedom in this area of feelings, you will discover powerful truths about yourself. As Bruce Lee says...